Logic verses intuition

Sometimes you just have to feel your way through a situation, event or crisis. It is hard because we really rely upon the logical part of our brain rather than the intuitive part of who we are. I guess that relying upon our feelings is scary. I know that it has been scary to me at times. You know what is really funny? Deep down, on an intuitive level you know you are lying to yourself. You just can’t face what feelings or intuition is telling you. They call it denial and I have lived there.  Eventually we all face our fears one way or another. I did.

Like many people usually when someone asks me something I've  liked to know that I have an answer. Opinionated I guess is the right word.  After all isn’t that why many of us spend so much time learning, studying, surrounding ourselves with people /experiences so that we gain this fount of knowledge that appears to justify what we are saying or doing? I suppose that is why we arrive at a place of so called crisis because one day you don’t know. Here comes indecision. When we don’t have answers and are therefore in a place some may call a wilderness. It’s more comfortable to have answers and I guess not so comfortable when we appear to be like …you know stupid.  But who is really the stupid one? Believe me some people might do well to admit they do not have answers because that might make a difference. In the silence we just might  learn to listen.  I have begun to realise that trusting in my feelings, living by intuition and faith (if that’s what you want to call it) is actually harder from the mind set perspective but it has become so much easier within my spirit. Having a sense of ‘knowing’ kind of frees me to feel and trust that the path I am on is ok. I will reach where I am supposed to. I dare say you will too. I feel that this path that I am on is helping to heal the scars I built up and carried behind the layers of confident smiles. But if you looked closely at my eyes you might have seen the internal  war being waged. 

Believe me I’m really not into bleeding my issues all over the place. That was not how I was raised. But if I cannot be real with you how can I be real with me?  I think I am at a place where I'm just tired of wearing that mask. I’m trying to live a life where I can be real with me. If I look washed out and pale. That because I’m tired,   washed out and pale. I can hide behind some foundation and massacre but that too has to come off at some point! You feel me? Yesterday I browsed the net and some headline came up about a groom who was now suing his wife for false representation because he saw her without makeup the morning after their wedding night. I was cracking up! But really what is the world coming to?  Anyway the point is that the item was actually sad. When I wake up in the morning what you see is what you get. If you happen to be at my side then what I see is what you get too. The good, bad and ugly.  Especially early in the morning. Lol. Accept it.

I recently went to see a play called Broken. The central theme was around 7 women with their own key insecurities and fears. They were in crisis and could not see a way out but through faith each was supported to rise up and from each came greatness.   I didn’t know what to expect from the play. I just planned to go along have a good night out. You know hang with the ladies, laugh a lot and just release some pressure.  What I walked away with was the understanding that we all wear our own masks. Sometimes you just have to let that mask go. It doesn’t serve you in the long run because how long can you really run away from yourself.

Peel away the layers and what are we left with?  One of my WhatsApp group members posted a video which has me popping a little. Some guy was sharing about the wig he had pasted to his head (or should I say that he was peeling and reapplying to his head). I'm so used to seeing some women with the lace front wig in the hairdressers it was a bit of a new things to see a young man sharing that this type of wig has crossed the gender gap! The group members and I were firing off a lot of comments. But on reflection I think how are we - as men and women - going to connect with each other if we cannot be our real selves or as real as we dare to be?  Not all of us are gonna go to the gym and have the body of a 16 year old. And now comes all the cliché that could trip off my tongue but you know them all already.  I am gonna try and rest here accepting the good, bad and ugly trusting that intuitively I will learn to understand me more, accept me more and love me a whole lot more. A bit deep I know but hey that’s me. What about you?