New Year.... Mum put yourself first for once !
So it's the beginning of 2016 and my 2015's Christmas, birthday and New Year was absolutely wonderful. The difference was really being surrounded by warmth & love. This year I decided to take care of my needs too. Mothers usually sacrifice the opportunity to spend time with the family by hiding in the kitchen preparing food for others to enjoy. We tend to snatch moments with family members in between stuffing the turkey and preparing the other pieces of a fragmented menu. I bought food this year. Actually some might call it cater out or cater in whatever the saying I got someone else to cook food and all I did was collect it. This year I was not going to spend valuable time in that kitchen sweating like a beast in a tight space. I was brought up in a home where this was the norm but it felt like too much of a grind this year. I'm fed up doing the thing for the sake of the thing. Also I don't know about you but when you're cooking for other people don't you lose your appetite? Blasted weird but I should have lost more weight by now because I have spent so much time cooking! Lol
Anyway I digress. By having someone else cook I had freed myself up. My children didn't want turkey on Christmas day. They wanted a themed event. This year they wanted West Indian foods for the day and that's just what we did. I found out how wonderful a gift it was to release yourself from focusing on preparing food. I got to go to late night events and early morning church services without the usual panic rush that I need to run like a bat out of hell to get back home. Home to either season a turkey/meat/fish or plan a method of attack on how to juggle all the separate items needed to sit on the dinner table simultaneously. Or background thoughts that tick over in your mind saying "you gotta stay awake so you can turn the turkey on early ...like 5am!" And you watch the time slip away as yet another chore has to be done before Christmas day. The chores that won't wait because it just has to be done before Christmas. You know what I'm talking about. All the chores that you put off until you suddenly realised that you didn't want the year to run out and they haven't been done. You know what I mean Mama. Christmas is not the season to be jolly if you have a beast of a turkey and food to prepare. You can say you are going to church on Christmas day but your thoughts are really not there. Your mind is thinking about all the things you could be doing instead of being here looking at the vicar's or preacher's face or smiling into your neighbours face. Then as you get in the house resentment follows you all the way to the kitchen and stays with you until everyone burps.
This year I did not experience any of those feelings or negative thoughts. I spent time laughing, talking, listening and really laughing with my children. We laughed (did I say that already?) and were light hearted. We learnt how to use my new laptop to video us opening presents which was just hilarious. We messed up thinking we had filmed when we hadn't and filmed when we thought we weren't. We opened gifts, played wii games and even Karaoke got a look in (something we haven't done before) we actually spent time enjoying each others company, difference and similarities. We enjoyed visiting family on boxing day eating their Turkey and coming home stuffed to the seams.
My daughters were more excited at my impending birthday and I got caught up in their excitement so much that an impromptu party took place resulting in being surrounded by family, children and very close friends to see in the New Year 2106. How Wonderful. I was left with a sense of calm, peace, gratitude, joy, that 'sofa love' that allows you to be just who you are:accepted non the less. Thinking back right now I remember that twinkle of amusement followed by an outpouring of love and acceptance that I received from all those around me. It was a beautiful place to be in and I remember feeling blessed (I still do). If this is just an indication of what it might feel like to put yourself first then sacrifice is good in small dosage. Why? Because you appreciate things more. It's hard to remember that not everything lasts. There is a season, a time, a reason, a lesson to learn. Sacrifices have their times and these times pass. Putting your needs first teaches others that you are destined to have better things in your life. If YOU don't know it they won't show it. If you don't stop to accept better others won't give or deliver better. Model it for your children and they will learn the lesson. Tell them and they may forget the thread of what was said. Model to them that you are worth much more. I am worth it and dear I say so are you. Walk in that zone, model that zone and the new Year will reveal some serious hidden treasures. Are you prepared to open yourself to gaining so much more than you expected? Treat yourself like you are valuable and watch what happens.
Happy New Year
Anyway I digress. By having someone else cook I had freed myself up. My children didn't want turkey on Christmas day. They wanted a themed event. This year they wanted West Indian foods for the day and that's just what we did. I found out how wonderful a gift it was to release yourself from focusing on preparing food. I got to go to late night events and early morning church services without the usual panic rush that I need to run like a bat out of hell to get back home. Home to either season a turkey/meat/fish or plan a method of attack on how to juggle all the separate items needed to sit on the dinner table simultaneously. Or background thoughts that tick over in your mind saying "you gotta stay awake so you can turn the turkey on early ...like 5am!" And you watch the time slip away as yet another chore has to be done before Christmas day. The chores that won't wait because it just has to be done before Christmas. You know what I'm talking about. All the chores that you put off until you suddenly realised that you didn't want the year to run out and they haven't been done. You know what I mean Mama. Christmas is not the season to be jolly if you have a beast of a turkey and food to prepare. You can say you are going to church on Christmas day but your thoughts are really not there. Your mind is thinking about all the things you could be doing instead of being here looking at the vicar's or preacher's face or smiling into your neighbours face. Then as you get in the house resentment follows you all the way to the kitchen and stays with you until everyone burps.
This year I did not experience any of those feelings or negative thoughts. I spent time laughing, talking, listening and really laughing with my children. We laughed (did I say that already?) and were light hearted. We learnt how to use my new laptop to video us opening presents which was just hilarious. We messed up thinking we had filmed when we hadn't and filmed when we thought we weren't. We opened gifts, played wii games and even Karaoke got a look in (something we haven't done before) we actually spent time enjoying each others company, difference and similarities. We enjoyed visiting family on boxing day eating their Turkey and coming home stuffed to the seams.
My daughters were more excited at my impending birthday and I got caught up in their excitement so much that an impromptu party took place resulting in being surrounded by family, children and very close friends to see in the New Year 2106. How Wonderful. I was left with a sense of calm, peace, gratitude, joy, that 'sofa love' that allows you to be just who you are:accepted non the less. Thinking back right now I remember that twinkle of amusement followed by an outpouring of love and acceptance that I received from all those around me. It was a beautiful place to be in and I remember feeling blessed (I still do). If this is just an indication of what it might feel like to put yourself first then sacrifice is good in small dosage. Why? Because you appreciate things more. It's hard to remember that not everything lasts. There is a season, a time, a reason, a lesson to learn. Sacrifices have their times and these times pass. Putting your needs first teaches others that you are destined to have better things in your life. If YOU don't know it they won't show it. If you don't stop to accept better others won't give or deliver better. Model it for your children and they will learn the lesson. Tell them and they may forget the thread of what was said. Model to them that you are worth much more. I am worth it and dear I say so are you. Walk in that zone, model that zone and the new Year will reveal some serious hidden treasures. Are you prepared to open yourself to gaining so much more than you expected? Treat yourself like you are valuable and watch what happens.
Happy New Year
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